Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Solitude

Solitude

(5/7/20 archive)


Dear Ian,





No matter how solitary I feel, no matter how lonely and isolated and bereft of connection; the Universe and God and All seem to keep peeling away more people from my life. I've lamented for 20 years this aloneness I've begged God for more love, more humans to share my walk. I've prayed for a mate. Yet each year I have fewer friends and more diluted connection with those left: my kids, family, dear ones.

I see the irony more than ever. The more lonely I feel, the more alone I am.

A giant tug-o-war going on...
A winnowing
A pruning
A falling away of humans

Gradually I give in to it and have no idea where it will lead.

I have enough imagination (for short moments) to believe that all this is orchestrated for some purpose. I hope so. I miss you.....


                                                                                            Love,
                                                                                                         Mom




1 comment:

Kim Carney said...

is is an age thing? because I feel this happening ...
remember imaging dinners with the same couples that you have known for 30 years? Once a week or something like that? I know it can happen because Susan does it ... but has escaped us? what gives ;)