Dreaming

Dreaming

     Last night I dreamed of you.

You came to me full grown, strong, complete.

Exactly like you should have been

Exactly like I expected once

Exactly the man I saw glimmers of LAST November.

     Still  my Ian, with a deep yet boyish voice,

Curious, bursting with energy and love. 

Long, strong arms and legs, squeezed into my car

That familiar blue Polo shirt, turquoise really.

You smelled so good and clean, like clothes off the line.

   Like a dream I had of Jesus 20 years ago

When He came to me, smelling close-line clean 

and I received the Holy Spirit. 

You smelled just like that.

     You showed up so quiet and real 

That is was as if you were home for a visit 

You, home from school or work.

You as the man I knew was inside.

You  as you almost were.

     We hugged and hugged and hugged

You wouldn't let go, just like always.

So close behind me that I could not tell

Where I ended and you began.

     Driving around some strange town

Talking about memories and things we saw

Talking about where to go to lunch

Talking about a Mulberry tree and grape vines.

     Then Phoebe barked and woke me up

Reality came flooding in as I lay still as death,

And reminded me of this horrible year

And you became thin, clear, and disappeared

And I was alone again.

I didn't cry, I wished I could.

Momma