Monday, June 1, 2015

God As Hummingbird

I read the Bible. I also read Jacob Glass and have gotten into the custom of throwing Native American Animal Medicine Cards (shockingly similar to Tarot cards but calling on the symbolism of animals, as the native tribes viewed their godliness.) Today I pulled the Hummingbird card for the second time in about a week. I have come to see that when I pull the same card over and over it means something. God is really clearing Her throat loudly, tapping Her toe and maybe even waving Her arms at me....

Hummingbird awakens the flowers, regenerates, and passes around the love. She can fly in all directions, upside down, backwards, even hover in mid-air. She is different from the other birds. Hummingbird conjurs love and opens the heart...brings others together, and instinctively seeks beauty, but She flies away hastily from discord, ugliness, and harshness. If She is caged or imprisoned, she will die. To embrace Hummingbird medicine, we are called (as I was this morning) to drop judgement, avoid the nasties, and be renewed by living. I got that, it applies to where I am in my life right now, so much so, I felt a little "ping" as the puzzle piece fell into place.

 You only have to tell me twice, I get it....Thank you God.


So, I read John 2:12-20 The Temple story. When Jesus went into the Temple he saw animals milling about, being sold, money changers, people conducting business. It was noisy and messy and smelly and probably pretty fun and colorful. It was not evil or mayhem. These people were not gangsters or even republicans... They were not killing each other, raping women, beating anyone up. It was just people going about their daily life, trying to prosper, progress, create some product. Survive, for goodness sake! It is what we all do, everyday, almost all day long. We try to bargain and be productive under our own will. Isn't that the sum total of most of our days? when I am anxious or lost (which now is a daily occurance), I try to get organized in my life. I clean, finish projects...I get busy. It seems to is very filling like a big hamburger, yet it leaves an emptiness all around.

It is so empty and so full all at the same time.

Jesus was making a whip-lashing; temper-fit-throwing point of saying something more than just not to let the livestock shit in the church....and not because God wants purple curtains and a red velvet rope.....................


And by the way, a Temple is not only a marble structure built to worship the divine; it is also a place on either side of my eyes.


He might have been saying something a little more subtle...whip and all....saying that life is noisy and humans are so busy and lost and scared and ant-like in our daily routines. We just are such an noisy, busy tribe......maybe not with bad intentions.....but we get so loud that we cannot hear......saying that SOMEPLACES are SACRED and they need to be.....

Chorded off
Swept clean
Blessed and

They need to kept Holy.

Holy in the sense of open, clear, quiet, receptive, tender, serene, still, aware, expansive, limber, and ready.

                                                        A womb preparing for birth.

 Take off your shoes, said John the Baptist, we are all walking on Holy Ground, and this ground is between your temples.

Keeping a Holy state of mind invites the Hummingbird God to come; because she is a shy and elusive Little Girl. Her utterances are quiet and steady, like a hum, but terribly strong, energetic, and delicate. She is easily shooed away by the prattle of the human mind; by judgement, harshness, and most especially my own hysterical mind.

But God's humming wants to be heard. Wants to drink from me and pass the pollen on and regenerate the world.....

                                                   One hysterical woman at a time.

God wants to sip, spin, and hover all over us flowers and JESUS KNEW THAT. There are no exquisite Hummers at the Mall.
                                                   What a delicate, lovely God we have.

Jesus was trying to say (maybe) that the quiet presence of God may be easier to receive in a quiet, present mind, or in a quiet temple in a quiet place in the world. Mine is on my backporch, or pretty much any time I am outside looking up at the stars.

I want a quiet Temple, I want Hummingbird to come live with me. Jesus wants that for all of us.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

My (Reluctant) Messiah

John 2:1

Jesus Changes Water Into Wine
On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding.When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”
“Woman,[a] why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.”
His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”
Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.[b]
Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim.
Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.”
They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside10 and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”
11 What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.
12 After this he went down to Capernaum with his mother and brothers and his disciples. There they stayed for a few days.


     It occurred to me reading John 2:1- 2:11 this morning that Jesus was not all-knowing and all-seeing. He missed things. In that moment, there, enjoying the party, visiting with friends; relaxing maybe..... He doubted Himself. He doubted God. He was, at times, misguided in his feelings and instincts, just like me. How can this be? What a heretical thought.

     John tells us this is Christ's first miracle. He turned water to wine. This was not allegory or metaphor, this was a full-out, in-your-face, mind-blowing miracle. The real stuff. John wants us to understand that Jesus was not an imitator, a fad, a Johnny-Come-Lately traveling preacher.....Powerful, powerful stuff.
     But what I read today struck me as off-putting in a sense.
What preceded one of the most inexplicably amazing events in human history was a mistake; a miscalculation, by the Lord Jesus Christ. (Don't gasp, it's really ok). When his Momma told him there was no more wine and then badgered him to fix the problem, this is what he said, according to John, who, by the way, actually walked with Jesus and knew him personally:

"Dear Woman, why do you involve me? My time has not yet come."
     What does this tell me about Him? Did He have a different time line for revealing Himself? Was he enjoying a little buzz and didn't want to face the reality of his coming task? Was he scared and uncertain about what he was supposed to do, or was God being very quiet, as He sometimes is when I am in need? Did he doubt himself; was he annoyed at Mary's demands?
     Whatever His motive, it is seemingly clear that He did not intend or plan to perform a miracle that night. He gave into his Mother.
     This is what I love about Christ. He was not God, exactly. He was a man, but not exactly. He may have possessed the powers of God (as perhaps we all do, droned out by the buzzing of the bees in our worried minds), but He had a very human heart. A frail, uncertain, wistful, reluctant human heart......cloaked in a great Mind.
     Wrought with uncertainty, insecurity, a drop of weariness, even hesitance...doubt....He struggled to understand what God wanted Him to do. And sometimes he missed the mark....
     I am not horrified by this tenderness; this humanity; I am tremendously reassured.

    If precious, loving, courageous, lonely Jesus had moments of uncertainty and confusion (and the loneliness that plagues us in the silence of God), than perhaps my own delusions, miscalculations, and simple blunders are not so bad after all.